How to talk to our children about current events
School has been a safe place for children for the last two years. They have been able to go to school and, for the most part, engage in what has been their usual experience of learning, playing, and seeing their friends. As restrictions have relaxed, school no longer feels as safe, as students see some of their friends contract COVID and miss school. Fortunately, our boys have been able to Zoom into their friends at home to see that contracting COVID has not been as serious as they may have imagined, and most boys are quickly returning to school after their isolation period.
As parents, we face the challenge of talking with our children about what they may be seeing or hearing in the news and how they are feeling about situations that are well beyond their control. The Kids Health website provides some simple advice for parents on approaching a conversation with children about the news, as well as how to make children feel more at ease about what they are hearing and seeing.
Find out what your child already knows:
- Ask your children questions to see if they know about a current event. For school-age kids and teens, you can ask what they have heard at school or on social media.
- Consider your child's age and development. Younger kids may not grasp the difference between fact and fantasy. Most children realize the news is real by the time they are seven or eight years old.
- Follow your child's lead. If your child doesn't seem interested in an event or doesn't want to talk about it now, don't push.
Answer questions honestly and briefly:
- Tell the truth but share only as much as your child needs to know. Try to calm any fears and help children feel safe. Don't offer more details than your child is interested in.
- Listen carefully. For some kids, hearing about an upsetting event or natural disaster might make them worry, "Could I be next? Could that happen to me?" Older children may have lots of questions. Focus on what your children ask so you can help them cope with their fears. An adult's willingness to listen sends a powerful message.
- It's OK to say you don't know the answer. If your child asks a question that stumps you, say you'll find out. Or use age-appropriate websites to spend time together looking for an answer.
Help children feel in control:
- Encourage your child to talk. If your child is afraid about what's going on, ask about it. Even when children can't control an event — like a natural disaster — it can help them to share their fears with you.
- Urge teens to look beyond a news story. Ask why they think an outlet featured a frightening or disturbing story. Was it to boost ratings and clicks or because the story was truly newsworthy? In this way, a scary story can be turned into a discussion about the role and mission of the news.
- Teach your children to be prepared, not panicked. For example, if the news is about a natural disaster, make a family plan for what you might do. If an illness is spreading, talk about ways to protect yourself and others.
- Talk about what you can do to help. After a tragic event, finding ways to help can give children a sense of control. Look for news stories that highlight what other people are doing.
- Put news stories in context. Broaden the discussion from a specific news item about a difficult event to a larger conversation. Use it to talk about helping, cooperation, and the ways that people cope with hardship.
Limit exposure to the news
- Decide what and how much news is appropriate for your child. Think about how old your children are and how mature they are. Encourage them to take breaks from following the news, especially when the topics are difficult.
- Keep tabs on the amount of difficult news your child hears. Notice how often you discuss the news in front of your children. Turn off the TV so the news is not playing in the background all day.
- Set limits. It's OK to tell your children that you don't want them to have constant exposure and to set ground rules on device and social media use.
- Watch the news with your child and talk about it. Turn off a story if you think it's not appropriate for your child.
Keep the conversation going:
- Talk about current events with your child often. Help children think through stories they hear – good and bad. Ask questions like: "What do you think about these events?" or "How do you think these things happen?" With these types of questions, you can encourage conversation about non-news topics.
- Watch for stress. If your child shows changes in behaviour (such as not sleeping or eating, not wanting to be around people, or worrying all the time), call your child's doctor or a behavioural health care provider. They can help your child manage anxiety and feel better able to cope.
At school, the boys’ teachers and support staff are also able to have these constructive and caring conversations. As always, please reach out to your son’s teacher should you feel that he needs additional support at any given time. Serious issues can be escalated to our School Counsellor, Mrs Emma McKenzie who is onsite and works closely with boys from Reception to Year 6. We also have Reverend Mark Dickens, College Chaplain, who is able to provide counsel to students if needed.
Mr John Stewart
Head of Preparatory School